I Have A Confession To Make…

First let me say that a career in law (and thereby the decision to attend law school) is definitely something I was called to. When you spend a year and a half floundering, it is unmistakably God answering prayer when something falls in your lap, and your acceptance of that gift opens five million sudden and “coincidental” doors. I don’t believe in coincidences. I have no doubt that I am where I am supposed to be, because I was called to be here. That said…

Law school serves two primary goals: to teach you the law in preparation for the BAR, and to teach you how to be a lawyer. It’s mostly a matter of changing how you analyze and think about things. But the longer I study law, the more I realize: lawyers, as a whole, have earned their dishonest reputation.

This creates a problem for me. I am a Christian. I love my God, and desire, first and foremost, to follow Him. But ours is an adversarial system. And any system that encourages adversity inherently encourages a certain degree of dishonesty, manipulation, self-gratification, and a disregard for others.

Which brings me to my confession: I struggle with my calling.

I struggle with reconciling Christian principles with accepted law practices. I struggle with what lawyers generally perceive to be ethical. I struggle with a law system that seems to perpetuate injustices as much as it prevents and rectifies them. I struggle with the competitive, every-man-for-himself attitude encouraged in law school. I struggle with the fact that I have no idea what to do with myself after graduation, because I still have no idea what type of law I want to practice. And I struggle with the fear of making the wrong decision and getting sucked into practice at a firm whose ethics don’t match mine.

For the last year and a half, I have wondered and worried and stressed about how one can practice law and still remain faithful to God’s law. This week, my Negotiations class brought this issue to a head for me.

I am required as a lawyer to be a zealous advocate of my client. In and of itself, that’s not a bad thing. But what happens when my client’s desires clash with my own personal beliefs? To a certain degree I am protected from this by professional codes of conduct. I am, for example, prohibited from making statements that will result in a misrepresentation or fraud, regardless of what my client wants. But there is quite a bit allowed by the rules of professional conduct/ethics that is not allowed by my personal code of ethics.

According to my Negotiations text: “Ethics codes forbid lawyers lying in court but permit in negotiation what the public would consider lying.” Lawyers must decide “how far to go in gaining a negotiation advantage for our clients by misstating or not revealing information” “Shading the truth and telling lies occurs in almost every case.” And “the essence of negotiation requires even the most forthright, honest, and trustworthy negotiators to actively mislead their opponents.”

In discussing what is permissible and what isn’t, the text cites a case in which the plaintiff was injured in an auto accident. The defense attorney demanded an examination of the plaintiff by a dr. working for the defense. This dr. discovered a life threatening aortic aneurysm likely caused by the accident. The defense lawyer did not disclose this info to the plaintiff, however, and settled the case for much less than would probably have been required had the other side known of the plaintiff’s condition. When it was later discovered, the ct ruled the defense attorney had no obligation to disclose the info, even though it jeopardized the kid’s life. The defense attorney was only doing his job; he was a zealous advocate for his client, working to get the smallest settlement possible. (I’m sorry, what? And how can that man live with himself?)

And when the text finally addresses what to do in a situation in which the lawyer’s ethics clash with client desires, it basically listed two options: try to talk your client around, or withdraw. Neither of these are great options. Clearly I didn’t find this section of the book particularly helpful.

The commandment is “don’t lie,” not “don’t lie, unless you’re a lawyer lying on behalf of your client.” And I feel uncomfortable just withholding information that may cause my position to be misleading in mock negotiations for class! (to the extent that, after one such negotiation with a Christian friend who is also in my class, we had to have a little confession time afterwards just to make us both feel better about misleading statements and nondisclosures we had made for the purpose of the exercise) Flat out lying is right out!


I know it is entirely possible to be a Christian and a lawyer because I know several (and know of many more) people who have managed to reconcile their careers with Christian principles. But I struggle with what that reconciliation looks like for me in my life. Maybe I should start by crossing negotiations off my list of career possibilities. If nothing else, it’ll narrow down my options!