It’s That Time of Year Again!

That wonderful, fabulous, magical time of year.

The time for snowflakes and ornaments and happy little elves. For wreaths tacked to front doors and light-bedecked pine trees. For claymation movies about reindeer, snowmen, and jolly old Saint Nick. The time for good food and careful searching for just the right gift. Time to be spent with good friends and family—those who are precious and beloved and dear to one’s heart.

England has some issues with holidays.

They barely acknowledge Halloween over here (as evidenced by the complete lack of decorations, pumpkin carving, costumes, or…anything else really). And England doesn’t do Thanksgiving at all. Since these two holidays (along with my birthday, orange crunchy leaves, and the ability to wear one of my two million scarf accessories), make fall so absolutely marvelous to my eyes, it makes me sad when they suddenly don’t exist. It makes the season feel a little empty and…foreign.

But England! Lovely, lovely England. England knows about Christmas.

I walked by Starbucks today, and there are snowflake shaped window stickies in the front window. And there are metallic red Christmas garlands across the top of their mug display. Tesco’s (my local grocery store) has had Christmas displays out Since October: the top shelves are lined with stocking stuffers and Christmas crackers. Large Santa and Rudolph plushies sit smiling in cardboard display cases at the end of aisles. There are turkeys (!!!) in the freezer section, and Christmas puddings in the sweets aisle. I found body wash (for him!) in a novelty container shaped like the Stig.

There is a pedestrian tunnel that runs beneath the street from the South Kennsington tube station to a place just down the street from the Pepperdine house that I walk through to get to and from school every day. The tunnel exists to allow easy access to the three museums located just down the street from the school, and there are three exits: the one at the end that is closest to my school, and two that the lead to street level near the Victoria & Albert museum, about halfway down the tunnel. Late in October, on my way home from a late evening class, I noticed that the trees outside one of these exit had been decorated with Christmas lights, thousands of them, enough to light the exit and the street outside, and it’s so pretty it makes me smile every single time I walk past. (This being grumpy England, I get strange looks from the people passing me in the other direction, who can’t fathom why some girl walking alone is grinning in an inappropriately goofy manner at a bunch of lights.)

Each major square and many of the major streets are decorated in some way for Christmas: Leicester square, Oxford Street, Piccadilly Circus, Covent Garden…all beautifully decorated with tons of lights and/or trees and/or garlands, etc. My goal before I leave London id to visit them all! Even the pubs are decorated. And I don’t just mean a few strings of lights; these people go all out. There are trees and ceiling hangings, windows completely blocked by lights, multiple garlands and tons of ornaments.

It is glorious!

Unfortunately the creeping approach of Christmas means it is that time of year again.

The time for stress and worry, for studying and memorizing and rewording of rule statements, for hushed conversations in the library, for frantic printing of outlines, for rainbow colored textbooks and supplements and commercial outlines and the coinciding overuse of highlighters and a sudden lack of tabbies, and for frantic phone calls home. (Be prepared, Mom, I’m topping up my mobile!)

Finals. Fast approaching, looming dark and ominous on the horizon. They are one week away, and I have a study schedule planned for each and every day between here and there that must be strictly adhered to.

Last year, finals blotted out Christmas entirely. I remember being somewhat surprised when a proctor for my final exam came in last December in a Christmas sweater. There it was, a week from Christmas day, and I had essentially forgotten all about it.

This year, the wonder that is London is preventing that. Certainly the nearness of finals mars the joy and warmth the season normally brings to my heart, but this year, the Christmas spirit is not to be defeated!

I just have to keep reminding myself: Be calm. Keep working. Christmas light tour in two weeks…

Thanksgiving: Just Like Chicken Soup, It Makes Everything Feel Better

As I sit here at 2 am, I find I am exhausted. I am physically tired, because it is late and I should be in bed, and this is only one of many such nights. But I am also mentally and emotionally and spiritually drained. The last year and a half hasn’t been the best of my life; law school isn’t pleasant. And in my exhaustion, I find myself dwelling far too much on the bad things in my life.

Today is Thanksgiving. And though I am exhausted, I have turned on the Christmas music and granted myself half an hour to sit down and remember all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for. Some of them are small, and some of them are serious, and some of them are probably silly, but all of them make my heart happy and my life better.  And that's something I need to remember!

I am thankful for my family. They are amazingly supportive, particularly my mom, who deals with my school-induced panic attacks with tons of reassurance and patience. (especially appreciated this time of year!) I love you, family!

I am thankful for the opportunity to spend this semester abroad. I have seen and done so many new and exciting things; been so many wonderful places. I am thankful to be living in London (in an English speaking country!), especially at this time of year, when Christmas is everywhere!

I am thankful for foreign accents, which make just walking down the street fun and interesting.

I am so thankful that my home is in America. I am have been very spoiled living there, which I never really grasped before now, but I feel that’s okay. I am so thankful to live there. America isn’t perfect by any means, but I do love my country.

I am thankful for my thick winter jacket! I hereby renew my claim that it is the BEST addition to my wardrobe that I ever made. I am also grateful for thick, homemade woolen winter accessories. I would be lost (or at least some of my extremities would be) without my hat, scarf, and gloves. For my new warm boots, which I LOVE. Ummm, and for my heater, and my lack of utility bills…

For cheerful Christmas music. For music in general really. My life is a musical; I’m never truly happy if I’m not singing, or listening to someone else do so. (On that note, they have some pretty worship songs here!)

For office supplies, particularly binder clips, tabbies, and sticky notes. And only slightly less important, R.S.V.P. pens. And my Jetstream pens! Also Sharpie liquid highlighters. I would be lost without these things in large quantities, and it is probably a little pathetic how happy I am whenever I make new additions to my collections. (I am especially thankful to be going office supply shopping tomorrow!)

For mail, and messages, and IMs, and skype conversations with friends and family back home. And, for all the ridiculous things that come with it, for Facebook.

For smiles and laughter.

For fuzzy soft animals that purr. And for the puppy I am going to buy myself after the BAR.

For coffee!!! (tastes not great unless it’s frufru, but a total life saver.) For Italian food. For chocolate. For Kraft macaroni and cheese! And for Pumpkin bread. Ph pumpkin bread, how I miss you!

For children on the tube, who are generally (amazingly!!!) well-behaved, perfectly adorable, and whose natural inclination towards fearless curiosity makes me smile (even though it also scares me a bit. Parents here seem to think the tube is safer than I think the tube is).

I am thankful that I am in law school. It’s not fun, but I am blessed by the opportunities it will give me later to help make others’ lives better. And I am blessed to be going to Pepperdine, which is probably the most Christian, least competitive environment I could have chosen for this challenging portion of my life.

I am thankful that Pepperdine is providing Thanksgiving dinner!

I am thankful for the fact that I do NOT get a Thanksgiving break, because God, in His perfect timing, granted me instead a week-long travel break at just the right time for me to go home and celebrate my Granny’s life with my family.

I am thankful for dear friends, new and old, who have made my life richer and lighter.

I am so, so thankful for God. For His forgiveness and mercy and grace. For His Word, His peace, His love.  For His presence, and the gift of never really being alone.  For His comforting hand, and the way He has made my life so very blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving! (and goodnight! ^_^)

I Have A Confession To Make…

First let me say that a career in law (and thereby the decision to attend law school) is definitely something I was called to. When you spend a year and a half floundering, it is unmistakably God answering prayer when something falls in your lap, and your acceptance of that gift opens five million sudden and “coincidental” doors. I don’t believe in coincidences. I have no doubt that I am where I am supposed to be, because I was called to be here. That said…

Law school serves two primary goals: to teach you the law in preparation for the BAR, and to teach you how to be a lawyer. It’s mostly a matter of changing how you analyze and think about things. But the longer I study law, the more I realize: lawyers, as a whole, have earned their dishonest reputation.

This creates a problem for me. I am a Christian. I love my God, and desire, first and foremost, to follow Him. But ours is an adversarial system. And any system that encourages adversity inherently encourages a certain degree of dishonesty, manipulation, self-gratification, and a disregard for others.

Which brings me to my confession: I struggle with my calling.

I struggle with reconciling Christian principles with accepted law practices. I struggle with what lawyers generally perceive to be ethical. I struggle with a law system that seems to perpetuate injustices as much as it prevents and rectifies them. I struggle with the competitive, every-man-for-himself attitude encouraged in law school. I struggle with the fact that I have no idea what to do with myself after graduation, because I still have no idea what type of law I want to practice. And I struggle with the fear of making the wrong decision and getting sucked into practice at a firm whose ethics don’t match mine.

For the last year and a half, I have wondered and worried and stressed about how one can practice law and still remain faithful to God’s law. This week, my Negotiations class brought this issue to a head for me.

I am required as a lawyer to be a zealous advocate of my client. In and of itself, that’s not a bad thing. But what happens when my client’s desires clash with my own personal beliefs? To a certain degree I am protected from this by professional codes of conduct. I am, for example, prohibited from making statements that will result in a misrepresentation or fraud, regardless of what my client wants. But there is quite a bit allowed by the rules of professional conduct/ethics that is not allowed by my personal code of ethics.

According to my Negotiations text: “Ethics codes forbid lawyers lying in court but permit in negotiation what the public would consider lying.” Lawyers must decide “how far to go in gaining a negotiation advantage for our clients by misstating or not revealing information” “Shading the truth and telling lies occurs in almost every case.” And “the essence of negotiation requires even the most forthright, honest, and trustworthy negotiators to actively mislead their opponents.”

In discussing what is permissible and what isn’t, the text cites a case in which the plaintiff was injured in an auto accident. The defense attorney demanded an examination of the plaintiff by a dr. working for the defense. This dr. discovered a life threatening aortic aneurysm likely caused by the accident. The defense lawyer did not disclose this info to the plaintiff, however, and settled the case for much less than would probably have been required had the other side known of the plaintiff’s condition. When it was later discovered, the ct ruled the defense attorney had no obligation to disclose the info, even though it jeopardized the kid’s life. The defense attorney was only doing his job; he was a zealous advocate for his client, working to get the smallest settlement possible. (I’m sorry, what? And how can that man live with himself?)

And when the text finally addresses what to do in a situation in which the lawyer’s ethics clash with client desires, it basically listed two options: try to talk your client around, or withdraw. Neither of these are great options. Clearly I didn’t find this section of the book particularly helpful.

The commandment is “don’t lie,” not “don’t lie, unless you’re a lawyer lying on behalf of your client.” And I feel uncomfortable just withholding information that may cause my position to be misleading in mock negotiations for class! (to the extent that, after one such negotiation with a Christian friend who is also in my class, we had to have a little confession time afterwards just to make us both feel better about misleading statements and nondisclosures we had made for the purpose of the exercise) Flat out lying is right out!


I know it is entirely possible to be a Christian and a lawyer because I know several (and know of many more) people who have managed to reconcile their careers with Christian principles. But I struggle with what that reconciliation looks like for me in my life. Maybe I should start by crossing negotiations off my list of career possibilities. If nothing else, it’ll narrow down my options!