Sunday I finished a box of coffee. Sunday was the first day of the fourth week of the semester. What does this mean? It means I am addicted to my worst enemy. Yes, that’s right, worst enemy.
Coffee and I have a love/hate relationship. Because I really hate the stuff. It’s bitter! The only way you can get it to be not-bitter is to pour a ton of cream and/or sugar and/or chocolate and/or syrups in it. Unless it’s chock-full of calorie-high sweetness, coffee tastes gross.
But! Coffee is full of caffeine. Glorious, wonderous, keep-me-awake (sort of) caffeine. In undergrad, I learned to hate soda by drinking too much of the bubbly caffeinated stuff in an attempt to stay awake without drinking … the Dreaded Coffee! It didn’t work well. (The cursed med-resistance strikes again!) So, this summer, while contemplating law school, I decided to do it: make myself like coffee.
I quickly discovered it’s impossible.
Instant is disgusting! Brewed coffee is gross. Brewed coffee with cream and sugar and a squirt or two of French Vanilla syrup is bearable. Starbucks coffee has a funky/burnt aftertaste. Even my beloved Coffee People, maker of the best hot chocolate in downtown Portland, let me down.
So. Only extra sugary additions make coffee drinkable. But I don’t really want to drink all that sugar! Alas, these days I’m tired a lot. And you have to, you know, actually pay attention in law school (go figure). So…coffee I must drink.
Fortunately, my dear beloved brother started selling instant coffee this summer. Now all my previous experiences with instant coffee were of the horror story variety. This instant coffee is bearable. Even good, for coffee. At least there’s no funky aftertaste. (Starbucks, you fail!!!) So I drink it. And I don’t look at what’s in it, because I think I probably don’t want to know.
But I still don’t appreciate craving it. Especially not enough that I finish a nearly-full box in three weeks. That’s almost a cup a day!
This is what law school has reduced me to: an addiction to the very thing I most love to hate.
